On Valentine’s Day I participated in something called a Twitter chat. As a person who does not consider herself adept at technology, i.e. Mom: “The VCR just kept flashing 12:00 so I put a piece of tape on it”, there were many layers of growing necessary to actually pull this thing off.
But let’s back up: I realized recently that I’m very JUST-y. I have often said that if I were a superhero, I would be Path Of Least Resistance Girl; my motto: At Least Getting Something Done that Could Be Considered Productive. Getting dressed: Check. Feeding the dogs/kids/self: check. Finishing the chapter: (reading, not writing) check. You get the idea.
But then last Saturday I chose to give a talk on wealth. As a business owner who’s been at it for a year, I know that this was something I had been avoiding. My superhero persona was letting me off the hook, big-time: wait til you’re a six-figure earner, you can hold off til your website’s done, wait til you’ve perfected your online sales platform, have X amount of followers, get a decent headshot. Again you get the idea.
I mentally prepared myself to talk about my credentials: the experience and accolades I achieved in my career that would position me as the expert in local economies, entrepreneurship, and business development. I was sounding very smart in my head.But as I watch my daughter celebrate her first year of sobriety, and we are going into business together, I got this super big cosmic download on the nature of true wealth throughout my life, and talked about that instead. It probably looked weird and wobbly to my audience, which is how things look when you’re on your growing edge, feeling vulnerable.
But the gist was this: throughout my life (and our lives, maybe, Dear Reader) I had a handed down definition of wealth. It had to do with pensions, end-of-life condos on a golf course in probably Florida, stealing packets of Splenda and sticking around for the free refills at the coffee shop. Squandering one’s hard earned money indulging the grandkids on stuff they don’t need. Deferring your joy to an unspecified endpoint in the future- for the Big Payout. To afford your medications.
My life didn’t match that. My definition of wealth and living my values has changed over time. What felt abundant at age 7, 15, 21, 31 feels very different from today at 52. I was holding in my head the the Wealth at 75 version this whole time.
And I deflected my accomplishments the whole time by being JUST-y.
I just volunteered my time because I couldn’t afford daycare. I just taught fitness classes so I could work out for free. I just started baking cookies to sell to pay for Christmas. I just ended up with commercial real estate because I had a house I couldn’t sell. I just started this consulting gig because I couldn’t decide who I wanted to work for. I just renovated the apartment so my parents could move in. I just had a spare bedroom that I converted to an office and studio so I wouldn’t have to shell out rent and could work in my pajamas. I just got into this stretching thing and supplement thing because I was sick.
I just. Not really, not wholeheartedly, not like the Big Guys.
They just invited me to speak to be nice. They just gave me that award because it was a slow year. Sheesh, enough already!
My new friend Carrie and my new friend Terri helped me redefine my Superhero this week.
Adaptive Reuse Woman: Taking What I Am Handed And Creating Something Useful And Beautiful And Full of Feminine Energy. Like Steampunk.
So…What about the fricking Twitter Chat??
One of my teachers, Estrus Tucker, was leading a twitter chat on Equity. He is a person who embodies what I want to bring to my community, and so I signed up. It didn’t hurt that recent national news that focuses on a notorious Tweeter were inspiring me to use my voice on that platform. We talked about Habits of the Heart in 140 characters or less, and it was definitely awkward. But it felt abundant, and adaptive and right up my new superhero alley.