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“Can you describe this space?” asked Phyllis, the most wonderful coach/friend/sister. It has been years since I stepped off workjob employment into the stay at home realm of caregiving. This wandering in the desert. The What Is To Become of Me Question has been walking along beside me a good long time. But right now there is a peaceful pause that feels so delicate and also hard-won that I’m kind of afraid to talk about it. Like that place we meditate for-a pause in all of it. I think I said out loud that it’s like a warm bath, twenty minutes to suspend it all, no agenda. I also said I had a lot of dark dusty closets that I had to excavate. Addiction to my business card, for one. But right now I am marveling at how the world has plunged into this swimming pool of unknown, isolation, and all our economic weirdness and I, although I’ve been here a while, am somewhere else now. See, my Dad has passed. He gave me the gorgeous gift of his departure on Valentine’s Day (which is a beautiful story for another time).

It means my mom is back here with me, in her advanced dementia. She is amazing to witness, someone so fully present because that’s all she’s got. Her physical condition is amazing at 88, and she can whip through the crossword like a circus sideshow act. She wakes up in the morning several times a day, and shows me which thoughts have worn a good groove through her brain over her many summers.

And this post is about what’s getting me through, some favorite things, that I hope might be useful in the time of surrender to the flow of love that heals.

Morning practice: Before engaging with technology and others: my water, coffee, tongue-scraping and newspaper puzzles, dog, birds, and invitation to my spiritual team to share the day. I sit in the sun.

EFT practice: since receiving my training as a clinical practitioner of EFT, or tapping, I’ve been cycling through the Carol Tuttle Healing Center, as a great daily source, and I just invested in the corresponding essential oil blends, as close as I can get to the smellovision that was foretold to us… I couldn’t be happier with the multisensory experience.

Trinity with stones: Mama Gena’s recommended practice of bragging, expressing gratitude, and expressing desires feels more fun with a sweet treat jar of candy-like stones to mark each one.

The Bodywork: As some of you may know, I am a practitioner of both fascia stretching and PranaShakti, two movement based energy modalities that I absolutely love. Deb Kern and Bendable Body are my wise and wonderful teachers, and I have a Facebook page about Stretching with Jen, where I just shared a free series of stretches for immunity. All have really good free content online, as well as fee-based offerings.

The food thing: I have some food allergies and addictions that I’m trying to navigate, so one thing that is feeling good is intermittent fasting. To meet the needs of the others I live with I’ve been grooving on The Maine Meal and Hello Fresh, which allow for participation and preparation while avoiding the grocery store. I’ll include here supplementation, because an imbalance can really affect my mood and energy.

Reading: so much quiet time. Right now I am savoring some titles: The Overstory, Hearth, and Braiding Sweetgrass, but I also can’t overlook Do Less, Untamed, and My Grandmother’s Hands as recommended reading for these days.

Spotify and Dance Breaks: of Course dancing virtually with my daughter Emily brings me great joy, but also taking a moment to connect with one song and dancing with abandon. Bonus extra credit if you do it outside or combine it with cooking or doing yardwork. It also comes very in handy when my brain’s emanations take a perilous dive down into the Fire Swamp from Princess Bride, or the Swamp of Sadness from the Neverending story, a groove my brain has worn over time.

Viewing the Biggest Little Farm. It allows me to visualize a choice forward.

Birds and Burning shit: nuff sed on this one.

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